The unspoken word!!

                     
                                             

               It felt like he's everything i'd ever wanted , but in the end this thought and dream of mine suddenly lost in just a blink of an eye.He's gone without saying any words. Damn!!! this pain is killing me ( ang sakit subra!!)


   ALL ABOUT MY PAIN

                           It is almost 1 year now since he left me. Seriously , I did not thought this will end up like this .We all have this dreams that the first man that we have ever love will be our forever. But unfortunately this doesn't happen to everyone. Hahahaha! I guess i was unlucky to be one of those who needs to be broken to learn some lessons. When he left , he had this promise that he will be back for me , he just need to do somethings back aboard . After few months our relationship become like one of those pictures that didn't developed well or in the other words" it become blurred". Suddenly I didn't see things clearer unlike before. Distance and time was the main issue for him but not for me.

                           I know myself i can conquer things as long as i know what i am fighting for. Barrier instantly built between us, we lost contact for sometimes actually it is not mattered to me. All i really want is at least a single message everyday , it just a reminder that he love me and i am the only one but that's a lie. I did everything in my part to keep him updated of what happens to me everyday.I keep myself busy on those times that he didn't send even hi or hello( haist asar ei!!)  I'm also busy but I did everything  to make him feel that i loved him. I am not justifying the things that i did for him all i'm asking is a security .We all know that the only way  for a  long distance relationship works, is through communication.Then how it will work for us if we don't have that?
            So! here it is , I gave all my trust but still boys will still be boys. (ito na nga ) I was on my shift that day and this catastrophe happened ( hahaha yes catastrophe)  he sent  a picture of him and his ex(sila na ulit) .(Oo , picture nila ng ex nya) and I am sure that was a latest photo of the both of them. WTF!!! (ang sakit!)  I was shocked, tears dropped, i didn't  know what to do .To be honest , that moment i can't think straight , I really don't know what to do in that said situation.
                SHIT!!It was painful , yes it's still painful until today but not like before , i can handle it so well .I tried to reached him but there's no response . I have asked him if what happened between us , what's wrong with me ( saan ako nagkulang , masaya naman tayo diba ?) But in the  end it was still me who said sorry for what  had happened between us maybe it's not him, maybe it's really because of me. The sad part for that is i never heard anything from him .
          Me and my friend stalked my ex's account  and we found out that he posted that "he's in a relationship with his ex" ( alam nyo na ibig kung sabihin). That girl was actually his girlfriend before me . I think he did not love me at all, I guess it is just infatuation.(burned) .I was in so much pain that there are times i can't handle it and find myself crying alone . What did i do wrong ? All I want is for him to explain his side. (Ang mas masakit nga ei hindi naman kami nag -away). If he didn't love me at all why he didn't said that straight to my  face.
             We're together for almost 3 years . Probably, I was just for fun,i wish he told me that he want an end .Bakit ?? Bakit ?Bakit hindi nya sinabi na hindi na nya ako mahal? Is that because he doesn't wanna hurt me ? Pocha? nasaktan na nga ako at nasasaktan padin ako. All i want now is to move on from this never ending pain .

       Madness and Guilt!!

       I don't wanna get mad or get even . Yes! I admit it "galit ako" yes! i have that but i am trying not to . It's not fair , especially for both of us . I knew  he did his best to make me happy for that 2 years and 8 months . Maybe  it just a character that he portray so perfect just like a leading man in a romantic movies,and in the end we never had that happy ending. For me it is better to have love and be love in return than never had love at all.     
     
         REALIZATION
                For the last time I know he knew this already , all i want for him is to be happy ! (hindi ako madamot)I want to be happy someday knowing that he's happy with his life . They said that the unspoken words are the loudest, if this loud enough i hope he can hear this and i hope we both have this good life ahead of us. We can't take back what we have said before but at least we have more time ahead of us to make things work for ourselves by the help of our experience for our future relationships.There so many  opportunities that's still hanging and waiting for both of us we all need to explore new things and enjoy our lives.Yes! Some people are meant to fall in love but sometimes they are not meant to be together , c'est la vie( ganun talaga).

          UNSPOKEN WORDS

                  We are actually wounded by the words people speak ,but we died for the once that never spoken.(Masakit yung mga bagay na nakikita mo lang ,mga bagay na natapos lang ng wala man lang isa paliwanag at masakit yung mga bagay na naririnig mo sa iba pero dapat naman sa kanya mo marinig).I will always have this unspoken questions and unspoken words that still gripping inside my head.Hell! what a sad story but lucky for me it was not a tragic one .This will be the last time that  i am gonna say this  word this maybe our unspoken word "GOODBYE".

 This quote is perfect for this..............................

















             















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