Journey to Utopia!!

I'm still alive but i'm barely breathing!! Ps.The photo is not mine ,found it through internet.(all rights belongs to the rightful owner)

"Things do have a way of working out , when you least expect it "

I really don't know how to express myself today , i feel forlorn since Sunday and it's because of her open letter . I love them both and it hurts so much to see her in this melancholy moment. I only wish for both of them to be happy .I'll admit it ( kasama ako sa mga taong gusto din na magkatuluyan silang dalawa pero hindi naman natin pweding ipilit ang isang bagay na hindi nila ikasisiya .) There's always a perfect time for everything ( Tamang panahon nga sabi n lola diba . )All that she wants is the happiness that she deserve. ( Subra akong nasaktan sa sinabi nyang "hindi na sya masaya".) I feel her pain ( anu ba bakit ba ako nasasaktan? , bakit ako masyadong affected ?Hindi nya naman ako kilala , hindi naman kami close pero bakit nasasaktan ako para sa kanya . Tingin ko ang sagot kasi subrang minahal ko na silang dalawa subrang naging inspirasyon at subra nila akong binigyan ng saya sa mga panahong yung lungkot sa puso ko ay kaya na din akong kainin.Ka...

Sunday (November 19, 2017)was also my friend's birthday , so we got invited to an outing .The first celebration (eating , sing along ,swimming and others) happened at ROVIA.(Here's some photos ) After Rovia we when to tiki bar (hahaha )Someone's gonna kill me. I don't like my face there what do expect your not pretty (talking to myself)  I didn't drink, (no) let me correct that i drink a little like half glass of beer. Yung pinunta mo lang talaga ay  sumayaw sa dance floor and watch the live band (hahahaha weird ). I am just not in the good mood that night maybe because i am not feeling well and i am also tired( Freaking tired).But thank you so much for the treat my dearest friend. We've enjoyed that night ,until next time (sana meron ulit hehehe ) PS: I planned to blogged this last Monday but i didn't got  cha...

Sana mabigyan ako ng kakayahang maipakita ko sayo kung gaano ka kahalaga sa buhay ko. Sana maibalik nalang ang dating masaya pa tayo, sana nandito kapa at kasama kita. Sana kahit sandali makita at makasama ka pa. Sana totoo nalang ang lahat ng ipinaramdam mo edi hindi sana ako nagkakaganito. Kung maibabalik ko lang sana , hindi kita bibigyan ng dahilan para makita mo yung  dahilan ng pag laho ng pag ibig mo . Pero lahat ng SANA isang malaking ilusyon nalang pala. Bakit ba bigla ka nalang bumitaw naiwan tuloy akong mag-isa. Ginawa ko nang lahat pero hindi padin pala sapat. Handa akong panindigan lahat ng ating plano kahit pa hindi ko man ito kabisado , plano natin biglang naglaho, na dahil ginusto mong matupad ito sa iba. Mabigyan man lang ng sagot itong mga tanung sa isipan ko . Edi hindi na sana ako umiiyak hanggan matapos ang tulang ito. Wala ei, Distansya lang sumuko kana .Akala ko ba walang hanggang pero bakit ngayon bumitaw kana? Lahat ng a...

I wrote the draft yesterday , i didn't got a chance to post this the same day because we had to leave the office early to eat breakfast and i don't have internet.( NO! i have internet only on my phone but it's hard for me to edit and add words on my phone so i need to wait tell today (RIGHT NOW )) to post it.If you'll read the whole piece of junk ,let us just pretend and rewind back to the 15th. It my 21st birthday (yey!!) celebrated my birthday at the office(sad but not that totally) . Nothing much special except receiving greetings from my office mates and my closest friends . They surprised me with a cake ( and it's not just a cake it's a PINK CAKE yey!!).My mama greeted me a happy birthday through messenger ( syempre speacial din yun lalo na pag ang greeting galing sa family.) I really appreciated that surprised yow ,it's been so long since someone give a dismay.This moment i will always grasp on this, that some people still wants me in there si...

                       There are so many things that crossing into my mind lately and some of that thoughts are making me nervous and  putting me to misery . The thought of being happy and in the midst of that happiness you'll stop and think "you should not be happy too much " ( may kapalit yan ) . I think that being pessimist is perfect to describe that character of mine( Being negative is always a part of me.).I been also thinking lately about what  i really wanna do  with my life . Every single day i wake up the heavy feeling is still stings on my chest. I  know that feeling some moments it's just comes back in  flashes all the bad things i have done in the past . ( It's like a kaleidoscope of memories) and it's always hunting and hurting me. ( That is depressing!!) I feel unproductive, i feel i'm always in misery and i feel useless. ( Wala kang magagawa kung ayan ang tumatakbo sa isip mo diba.) Baka...

Time checked 11:08 pm , yes! it's still Saturday so i decided to write something today/ tonight.I just had fun earlier before i got here in the office . We attended the dedication and birthday celebration of Caden and Ethan the kids of one of my close friend. We had fun , kahit hindi nakainum mukha kaming lasing . We did so much fun earlier and it felt like i did it again for the first. My other friends they still at ate mae's house drinking and i'm going there later after my 3 hours shift.  Right now i'm here at the office ( Yah! nasabi mo na nga !) , doing emails and waiting for calls (as usual, that's my routine every Saturday) But i'm glad to let you guys know that this will be the last Saturday shift (yet , i'm a little bit downcast) but thank God i will have my 2 days off .  I don't know but i guess there will be no time for me  to write an entry every Saturday and Sunday the next coming week because i don't have my laptop and internet ...

      I have decided to finish it today (this evening pala).I don't know why i'm having hard time to finish this while it's just all about what songs are particularly in my playlist. I was pissed off 2 weeks ago when i found out that all of the songs on my memory card got deleted and i really don't have freakin idea why it'd all happened so what i did was , i downloaded everything (back to square one).  Anyway , i just choose few songs from my playlist and i hope you'll find it very  interesting . Like what i have written in my previous blog/entry , i really love listening to music. I don't know but it's on me since i was a kid. It's more like i can't transcend the whole day without listening to any songs on my playlist .It always giving me good vibes , some of the songs i love are those in 90's and early 20's and some of the other songs are also latest .Music is the best anti-stress and it helps me relax when i'm not in a good mo...

        Should i say it's thursday? or more like friday currently . It's already 4:48 am in the morning  and since it's LCV(low call volume ) I got a chance to write something (Random thoughts lang).My hands are inching to write and even though this hands of mine are tired of uninterrupted typing, i still choose to release my thoughts and express my feelings through this. I don't know but i find it hard to share my thoughts and feelings to someone maybe because they will find it uninteresting.  Maybe that's how life goes, some other people are born to have the fortitude to express their feeling to anyone but for me i find it so hard (they might not understand).You'll find me writing when i'm happy but most of the time when i am forlorn.I'm having so much thoughts lately , it's feels like my head will burst any minute. Hi everyone! (Hahaha maka everyone naman , parang ang daming readers.) Ah basta!! Hi!! there are many things i really want to...

The day you walked away You took my heart and breath away Memories hunts me everyday And that felt dying every single day I saw his smile that day And I saw her smile the same way How I wished I could be that girl  So this pain could never turn to anger I never thought that there could be an ending between you and I Then I realized there's was no you and I When from the very start I could never own that was never mine Maybe this is really an end  for me and you And a new start for both of you too  Sorry I've hurt you, sorry I lost you But you see i've lost myself too Having this life is a never ending pain But at least i realized loving you is one of those painful thing  I know there will be a denouement to this drama Sorry and goodbye are the words i want to hear from you  And goodbye will be my perfect answer to you too PS:This poem is not perfect but hope you'll like it. Have a great day !!!

I can't remember but i finished reading this book i think that was 2 weeks ago but i didn't got the opportunity to write an entry about it . So here it is , i accompanied my mama to the airport because she's going to Manila that day , then from airport i went to SM mall and i don't know why hahahaha !!. I have this weird thing sometimes i love to go to book store just to check on something or buy books( Hahaha ! book store nga kaya ka napabili ng book diba,talking to myself, (insert sarcasm)). I didn't know what got into my mind why i checked  the book section again that time . I saw the book of Marcelo Santos III ; "Para sa broken Hearted" , the truth is i'm not familiar with his name(I really don't know him) not until that day, so he's also the writer pala of  "Para sa Hopeless Romatic". I thought the book of "para sa broken hearted " was all about payo, learnings or steps how to move on hahaha I started reading the ...

1.Sometimes I drink milk before I go to sleep, I don't know they say it would help you fall asleep. 2.I am terrified with dogs... no actually with dog barks.( I guess it's same) 3.I love pink and black. 4.I want to get a tattoo and navel piercing (belly button pierce) but my mother would kill me if i did that ( of course it's a hyperbole) but she doesn't want me to get tattoo , I don't know about navel pierce never ask her about it before. 5.I can say i am a INTROVERT . 6.I really want to learn how to play guitar , piano and drums .I just don't know how to start from there.( UHHH!!hopeless case) 7.I can't leave without earphone and music . 8. I can stay at  my house or room all day . 9.I love to do somethings alone, shopping, buying some stuff or even eating alone. ( told yah!! I am introvert).Maybe some people or my friends didn't know this side of me. 10.I love movies . (Maybe you all know that ,since it's one of my  hobbies hahahaha!!) ...